March 3rd, 2018

The Antartic Circle

Morning possums, breakfast will be served in 5’.

The mood was not better than the previous evening when we started the morning session. After the mindfulness practice (which to me was starting to feel too much like a morning cult/praying routine) some of the participants spoke about how they felt. We were letting fear stop us from what could have been an amazing experience.

Greg was not happy about the decision. The crew wasn’t happy. Neither was I.

I felt disconnected from the group and seek for conversation among the crew. It was nice to talk to Julieta about how I felt. The program was paternalistic and I struggled with that. They offered me mate and for a moment, it felt better. Somehow, I had the feeling that there were certain thing that I could not say in the safe space.

We went to explore with the zodiacs. Killer whales! The first group appeared on the left hand side, 1 male and 2 females. The second appeared on the right. I could not tell how many of them there were but eventually they all merged in one group. It was amazing. I felt the joy of being there, in that moment and I forgot about the group and Rothera. I leaned on the bow of the zodiac enjoying the cold in my face. Julieta’s stories will allow us to dive into the ecosystem secrets. For the first time in two long days, I felt happy. I went to the lower deck to my “secret” spot.

There were lentils on the menu. Fabian blinked an eye at me and brought me chicken instead.  Over lunch, I discussed what my strategy for the coming years should be. Be focused in science and the rest will come with time. I’m not even sure what that really means but it made sense back then. After lunch Greg and the captain came to the lounge with some news. They showed us the weather forecast and told us we would be heading to Rothera over night. Conditions were good and it was worth trying.